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(no subject) [Sep. 29th, 2004|10:08 pm]
[Current Mood |sadsad]
[Current Music |New Found Glory-Everything I do,I do it for u]

Im writing in here cause I dont think no one reads it anymore anyways(now that I have dj),but if someone does then maybe they can give me some advice?Things have been shit.I just...idk I am a jealous person and I hate the face that I never talk to Krystal anymore cause she has new friends,and when I do see her its like...idk.Shes there and I have the chance to talk to her,but I dont.I have no idea why!I wish I could kill all them freshman and Mallory and get away with it.I miss her a shit load!I just dont want to say anything cause I know shes having fun with her friends.Idk what to do.We see each other in the halls and we just glance at each other with barely any recognition,maybe a nod,but thats it.It sucks super bad cause shes the friend who I love and care about most.Shes the friend who I cant live without,and Im struggling right now.If anyone reads this can u tell me what to do?Jesus this sounds like some kind of relationship problem.Nothing like that folks its just...I need my friend back...Id do anything...

For u to want me
For u to need me
For u to notice me

I want u to know that
I miss u,I miss u so

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More work! [Aug. 6th, 2004|11:35 pm]
[Current Mood |workingworking cause i have a job!]
[Current Music |Pearl Jam-Hunger Strike]

Boring day at work.Donny munched it on his blades.

Got my ticket today,so excited!

Went running last night.Fuckin soar today!

Went to golden corral for dinner.Ugh 2nd day in a row!I hate that place now!Didnt eat much tho.Then went to redneck wal mart in flour bluff.Fag as hell!

Better off friends...


Xtra Mediums kick ass!Even if we arent formed yet!Someday...
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Another day at work... [Aug. 5th, 2004|07:50 pm]
[Current Mood |blankblank]
[Current Music |Yellowcard-Only One]

WHATEVER DONNY MAY WRITE IN HIS JOURNAL IS ALL LIES!!Thought Id clear that up.Ate at golden corral.Damn we felt so professional.Donny ate,Nesa!So did I,Danny!

Wanted to buy K's ticket but my dad took almost all my money and I dont have enough.Sorry K,but I am gonna spoil u on ur birthday cause everyone deserves to be spoiled on their b day =D

Danny was here last night.It was great,I had been missing him.

*Pee Wee Herman voice*I dont make monkeys,I train them!Hahaha!

I let go
but theres just NO ONE who gets me like u do
U are my only,my only one

The End.
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holy shit [Aug. 4th, 2004|09:30 pm]
[Current Mood |anxiousanxious]
[Current Music |reno 911 is on]

Real quickly...

My dad wants me to give him money already and I just started fuckin working man!He is already trying to take all my fuckin money for no reason just like he does to my brother.Ahh damn him!

Danny might come later tonight!God,I fuckin miss him so much!Ahh I will be super happy if he does come =D...wow I just saw how sick that looked...ha I think I am just in the sick thinking state of mind ;)

Krystals dance is so fuckin funny!COOCH!!Hahaha!

Im hoping to buy one of my tickets for the concert tomorrow cause I dont want to wait for my brothers friend to get them.I dont have patience!So I am gonna get Krystals tomorrow and then get mine Saturday incase they sell out.If they do then I want her to go at least and she can tell me all about it!=D

Ok thats it for sure this time.Byesssssss!
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UMM [Aug. 4th, 2004|07:51 pm]
[Current Mood |gloomygloomy]
[Current Music |The Ataris-Between u and me]

Yes well I write too much in here so I am gonna write less from now on,if I can.

Didnt work today after all cause they already had enough people,oh well tomorrow.

Picked up Krystal and we chilled at my house for awhile.Ha I love her dances,so fuckin funny.It was really cool tho cause we hadnt hung out like that in awhile.

Decided later on to go swimming.Me,my brother,Krystal,and Coral went to Donny's appartments to swim and stayed for like an hour and a half.Pretty cool.

I started thinking about shit and started to get sad and I hate when I get like that around my friends but I cant help it.Sorry if it seemed like I didnt wanna hang out with yall tho.

I miss Danny.

I cant stop listening to this stupid song.(look on music)

I really need to go to work early tomorrow cause I need money!!

Im done now.Later.
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(no subject) [Aug. 3rd, 2004|09:48 pm]
[Current Mood |sadsad]
[Current Music |The Ataris-Between me and u(I hate this song but yea..)]

God dammit dude I feel like shit right now man.I mean I have lied before but not to where I swore on one of my best friends lives.U said u dont remember but how could u forget that??My happiness has saddened me and it sucks but its not like I havent done shit to u in the past,right?Yea...

I dont even know what to say.I had so many things on my mind a second ago and now I dont remember any of it.

"How can I be the one whos keeping u from crying if ur the reason why I am trying so hard not to cry??"
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FUCKSHIT!!-Donny made it up.. [Aug. 3rd, 2004|06:41 pm]
[Current Mood |annoyedannoyed]
[Current Music |Ryan Cabrera-On the Way Down]

Yea well today was alright.Idk I was all excited when my brother moved in here cause he was always talking to me and helping me with shit but now idk.Im not as excited with him here.In a way I guess im trying to say,I liked it better only seeing him maybe twice a month.That may be fucked up but idk it seems like all he cares about is smoking pot and looking at girls.God,him and Rob are always like "tell ur friends sister I said hey,and that im free tonight."Do they not know that they are like 13 and 14 year olds?!Seriousy its fuckin annoying as hell when they do that shit and they are serious about it too.Then Ed is always fuckin smoking and I cant have anymore privacy cause hes in my room all hours of the night watching fuckin porn.Its fuckin disgusting!I cant watch a fuckin video on kazaa without having to scroll thru like 30 or 40 porn things.Idk im prolly just complaining cause im tired and shit but fuck have a little consideration for what I feel when I am trying to sleep cause I have to wake up early for work or something and both my brothers are in here being loud and watching fuckin porn with the speakers up loud.It may be a "guy thing" but at least fuckin do it when I am not trying to go to sleep.I mean Eddie gives me rides to places I need to go and watches out for me but idk...Im just whining now so ill stop.Anyways I woke up and went to work early this morning.Walked around for awhile and then got on the bus and went to Carroll.Oh we also saw Nesa driving by,hadnt seen her in a long time.Well we went to Carroll and were all scared but then we were like,"wait what are they gonna tell us,leave?"So we were just like whatever and we were there and then that weird ass teacher guy who knows my name but idk how he does saw us.He was like "hey Laura,hows ur summer going?"And I gave him the thumbs up.Then we got back on the bus and went back to work.Then we decided to go to the movies so we went and watched "The Day After Tomorrow" and it was tres good.Jake Ghyllenhal(spelling??)is whoo hoo!Ha yea and I noticed I made a boo boo with something I said when Donny told me "hey ur bf's gonna die on this part."Hmm yea it was weird but axnajndas my bad =\ Anyways we were all paranoid that we were get in trouble or that our signs wont be where we hid them so we left about 30 minutes before it was over.Luckily our signs were still there and we didnt get in trouble.Then we went and ate Wendys and walked some more.Then we saw Krystal and April getting off the bus so we walked them to the mall so they wouldnt get run over.Krystals hair looks kickass!Yea and um then we left and the security guard was all "hey u need to tell ur managers to keep those signs off of the mall premises."Or some bullshit like that so we left and walked around the rest of the 3 hours or so.Nothing too interesting cept seeing some people.Yea but since Donny is gonna write it in his journal I will write it,I am scared of frogs.I freaked out when Donny pointed out a toad.There I said it!Oh well and im sure more funny stuff was said but I can never remember so yea.Ahh I miss Danny and I just saw him last night.I want to see him again =( He makes me forget about how annoying my brothers are.I kept thinking I was seeing him today...asndiansui ok im whining again.God,I cant fuckin wait for Sunday.Im gonna work everyday this week cause I have to pay for my science book and school shit.Im gonna buy some convos like Donny cause I am a chickenshit conformist.Ha yea but I want some cause I am a hypocrite who says they are gay but then I get them.Me and my best friend Donny are both hypocrites like that,so what?!Then I want some other clothes and shit.Idk where we are gonna take Krystal for her birthday.Ha IHOP cause she wants to go there and then...idk but somewhere cool cause u know why,I got money for that shit,u know where?MY JOB!Haha jk kid.Ok well Im gonna go and hopefully SOMEONE will come!Yea but ok later.

I write far too much in my journal...oh well.
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(no subject) [Aug. 2nd, 2004|09:31 pm]
[Current Mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[Current Music |Millencolin-Fingers Crossed]

Damn the man my messengers arent working,AGAIN!Thats some hoe ass shit foo!I wanted to talk to some people but eh oh well,thats what phones are for.Well today was pretty cool.Haha my job is so easy dude.Me and Donny got to work and got our signs then went to the store and then around the corner and we got on the bus.Ha we werent suppose to but oh wells.Then we didnt know where the hell the bus was taking us and it took 2 hours to get back.But theres some freaks on the bus.One dude was putting change in his mouth and he would get suprised when he pulled coins out of his mouth.Then there was some lady who kept sneezing really loud and coughing loud and it was weird cause we thought she was gonna die.Then the freakiest one was this lady wearing really short purple shorts but she had some hairy ass legs and some really bad stubble on her face.It was fuckin weird and then I was like "Donny,lets go sit at the back of the bus."When we got to the back we started cracking up so bad.Then we saw Snoop Dogg on the bus and I was gonna ask for his autographh but I didnt.Good thing we moved to the back tho cause there was this cute ass guy back there,right Donny?Hehe.Yea and then we went back and passed by the place so they knew we were still working and we went to the mall.Donny bought his ticket and he was so freakin excited and looked like he was gonna cry from happiness.I bought a NFG shirt for like 5 bucks.Haha we were all looking at shirts and then Donny all turned fast and was like,"WOW CLEARANCE RACK!"It was fuckin funny as hell.Then we took our lunch break even tho we have had break all day.Then we went walking some more and went back to catch bus 32 and decided to go to Krystals house.It was cool but Kasey got annoyed cause we were wrestling in her room.Haha SOWWY KASEY!!!Its ok tho she doesnt hate me and she even hugged me =)I fuckin finally took Donny down tho!!It was fuckin awesome!He tried to tackle me and get me in a head-lock but I got out and got him down and started my arm-choke and he tapped.It was fuckin great tho dude and he was like "nah dude u didnt beat me!"Haha I fuckin got him tho dude!Then we left and waited for the bus and we ran cause it was coming and the chick saw us but kept fuckin going!Stupid hoe!Fuck that bitch!Ha so we waited for the next one and rode it back to work so they knew we were still working.We chilled out at the corner for awhile...haha we work on the corner.Not like that foos!Ha but yea then we went back to get paaaayed and left and I came home.I wasnt as tired today and it was a slow day cause we didnt work except for like an hour or 2.Damn this job is fuckin awesome.Well Danny said he missed me cause I like my job more than him now,aww.Hehe.So he came over and hes here now so yay!I get to hang out wif my babygirl!!Haha Donny.Yea theres a very short story to why I call him babygirl and he calls me babyboy but its not very interesting so no need to tell it.Ok wells were watching "The Assistant".I fuckin love this show!!

Ok well I am faced with a very difficult decision right now.I am considering moving to either Seattle or San Marcos with one of my sisters.Itll be a change and a new start I guess for me to try and straighten up and then I can come back here a more determined and changed person in about a year.By doing this I would be leaving behind a hell of a lot tho.I would be leaving good and bad things.I could forget about the pain that this place has caused me and the people who have caused me this pain.I would also be leaving my problems tho which is kind of like a cop-out but theres no other way for me.I would be leaving a few really good friends I have and one super special friend.I would leave behind someone who has made me feel happier than anyone in my life ever has.Someone who has changed me for the better,made me a nicer person and more caring towards others feelings.Someone who has been there for me no matter if they risked getting in trouble by sneaking out at 2 am just to cheer me up.A friend who means more to me than words can describe!Even if u looked all ur life for a person who would care about u and make u feel good,they wouldnt come close to how this person makes me feel.One of the best friends u can ever have!Yea she has a name...Super kickass,awesome,great,funny,nice,intelligent(when she wants to be),caring,all around great Krystal.Honestly,if I didnt know her,I would leave right when Donny did cause he woulda been the person I stayed for.She is the reason I stopped cutting and drinking(except for an occassion)and being as mean and cruel pf a person that I was.I love how she can turn my frown around just by talking to me and telling me its all gonne get better.She is one of the only people who can sincerely make me feel like like is alright,along with Donny.So thats the reason I am contemplating what I am gonna do.I am super confused right now but hey I got til about September to make my descision.

Ok I am done here.Im gonna go hang out wif my Danny Wanny.Haha how gay.Later foos!
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Oh man I am tired!! [Aug. 1st, 2004|06:12 pm]
[Current Mood |happyhappy]
[Current Music |Maroon 5-She will be loved(in my head all day!right donny?)]

Well well I am now a business woman.Yes its true,I have job!Ha man its so cool too!!I have the fuckin greatest job in the world.There are some down sides like the scorching heat,blisters on the feet,the headaches,and I only get paid 5 bucks an hour.Thats 5 bucks I dont have tho.The best thing about it,is that I get paid to hang out with my fuckin best friend all day!Damn dude I got it all with this job.Haha I had so many things that we said during the day that I was gonna put in here but I cant remember any of them.Donny has a hobo friend tho who pee's on his beard.Not really but its all yellow.Damn I cant remember anything just like Donny said I wouldnt remember any of it!!Fuck dude!Ha but um I guess since Donny is gonna go to the concert and he said I should go so I prolly will now.Haha we went to the mall afterwards(we say Jacob btw)and we were like crossing the streets and almost getting ran over and telling people where to park and we were like "we can do that cause we have jobs!"And then we,or I was telling people that were walking that I had a job and I could buy the stuff they were looking at it in the stores if I wanted to.Damn but today was so fun dude!I fuckin love my job!Its tiring tho so were only gonna go every other day,oh yea I get to go in whenever I want to!And if I decide to quit,all I have to do is stop going in.Damn thats fuckin great!Im gonna hav money whenever I need it tho and when I see something I want,I can buy it!If I have enough of course.Haha wait I just remember something Donny said me-"isnt it called the happy trail?"Donny-"yea but I call mine the treasure trail cause its where all my ex's have been!"Hahaha I thought that was fuckin funny as hell!Ahh man but I drank more water today,than I ever have in my life.Seriously,I love water now!Im gonna wear shorts tomorrow prolly tho or just roll my pants up cause damn it was fuckin hot as hell!We did take a lot of breaks but still it was so hot and tiring.Idc tho I love it cause I get to hang out with my best friend all day and I get money at the same time.Thanks for telling me about this shit Donny!!Ill see u tomorrow at WORK!!Haha thats fuckin great to say!Ok but yea to close this part off,work with best friend=awesome ass time!!=)

Last night at around 12,Danny came over and we watched tv and he played his geetar and ahh it was so much fun!Damn I always have a terrible week and then an awesome week comes next.I had a great time tho and ahh it was great just hanging out and shit.I loved it!!

Ok well I am super tired and I am waking up early to go to Donny's and then were gonna head off to work so later foos!
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Dude!! [Jul. 31st, 2004|11:19 pm]
[Current Mood |ecstaticso fuckin happy!!]
[Current Music |Kittie-In the Darkness]

Yay!!I am having the greatest fuckin day right now!God damn I am just so fuckin happy right now and nothing in the world can bring me down!Danny came back today and whoop my dad un grounded me for the day so I got to hang out with him.It was awesome even tho I think I am grounded til next Saturday now but its only like a day more.Whoo hoo but it was so much fun!Ahh and he asked me the question again and this time I said yes!I am completely done with the reason why I said no so whoo hoo!Yes I am quite proud of myself for being over it.Ha I feel so much better now too and its fuckin great!Were still super duper friends tho =) Well I loved today and hes coming back in about 20 minutes so ahh yes I am so excited!Muahaha well I dont know what else to write right now.Im watching "The Assistant" with Andy Dick.Hahaha damn this show is so fuckin funny!I fuckin love it!Hes such an asshole and its so fuckin funny!Ahh well Donny was telling me about some job he has where he goes in whenever he wants and all he has to do is carry a sign around for a few hours.It only pays 5 bucks an hour but thats money that I dont have so idc and I really want to go.Ill be able to work with my best friend and get paid for it!Itll be awesome and then I can buy shit that I want and not have to ask my fuckin parents.So I am hoping I can go with Donny tomorrow so we can chill out and make some money.I think if I get the job then I am prolly gonna go to the concert after all.Idk if I still am but I suppose I will if I got the money.Ok well I am gonna go watch tv and wait for my Danny!!Hehe MY DANNY!!Ok well latersssss!!

I saw this in someones journal and I thought it made sense to me..."I really dont thing im some big thing that every one would be lost without me. I could care more about what I have to offer the world, but im not, cause i know in the end the only thing I will have is a lasting impression on some one who will do something great one day, only to remember me in a bitter sweet memory of past days, and times lost...Im not the kewl guy every one knows, or thinks they know, im not a perfect guy, nor do I posess any great talent that would be ussed or to any avail."

I have the same mentality about myself.People may think I am cool and have a lot of friends and shit but how many of my friends really truly care about me?Who would I really really be affecting if I were to just dissapear.People would talk about it for maybe a week if that and then I will be gone from talk til one day someone brings up "hey do u remember that one chick who we use to be friends with?I wonder what happened to her..."Everyone will go on to be great and I am just going to be that girl.I have no special talents and I am nothing special, especially not to my parents.Im not a person who would affect everyones life if I died.Most of the people I thought I cared about the most have hurt me the worst.I have too hurt a lot of people so I dont want sympathy for something that I have done also.When I look back on it tho,there are few things that I regret.All I say is "shit happens."Yea but like that persons journal I got that from,I didnt write this for pity and for people to say "well I care about u and I would be lost without u!"So if ur really one of my friends that cares then go ahead and comment.If not then I am just "that girl" to u.Later.
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